The Pink Files : How To Make Hogwarts Sexier

Alright, guys, it's time for the mini surprise post I have talked about here and here. Let me present you : The Pink Files, a special installment where me and one of my blog lovelies, Nicola over *PinkNic's Planet* will blog together about a certain matter in one shared post.

In this case, make it two shared posts and two certain matters at the same time because you should also read about our awesome dream Hollywood movie imaginations over here. Go click, read, and comment before you read this...

...OR AFTER!

In the spirit of the new Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince, we're gonna share our thoughts on something others might have pondered but left unsaid :

How to make Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry sexier?


YES! Let's make the whole thing a bit G-rated and see Nic's thoughts on this :

So, how would I go about turning Hogwarts into a sexier place?

As a non-Harry Potter fan who has never read the books or watched the movies, I can't say I know much about the School of Wizardry, or whatever it is. Fortunately though, I do have some knowledge of sex and that's what this is really all about, right?

So, I think first of all I'd have to bring in some sexier people. From what I've seen on promotional posters and trailers, none of the students or teachers are particularly good-looking. So we need some hotties! Enter the likes of Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Jessica Biel and Jennifer Aniston and you've got some smokin' teachers there! A few Zac Efron-esque kids and bingo! It's a sexier place already.

I don't know what the uniforms look like but I think the girls should wear really short skirts. The ones at my high school were knee-length and I used to roll mine up as far as I could get away with. Nothing wrong with showing a bit of leg! And since the chicks are having to show some skin, I think it's only fair that the dudes should too. Shirts off please, lads!

Maybe we could also throw in a jacuzzi and some massage oil for when they're not turning each other into frogs or whatever it is they do in that place.

Oh and kids, you can use that wand for a lot more than casting spells, if you know what I mean ;)

I don't know about you but I definitely know what she means.

And as for my thoughts on how to make it mas caliente :

I fully agree about what Nic said about hot male students should be topless, I vouch the length of robe for female students should be very short like a mini coat though. Inside it, they all can wear some sort of sexy mini dress? I also appreciate if they confund Christian Louboutin or some other awesome shoe designers to make Hogwarts girls personalized towered heel booties / pumps. Socks are banned unless they're in sexy leg warmer kinds for these girls, tights are encouraged.

More interesting school activities please, like topless quidditch. While we're at it, how about water polo teams for the wizards? Only hot students allowed though. We don't need to see nothing but definite muscle tones and chiseled abs, yes? Lets also form witches cheerleading teams. We need some mean girl type of witches in the squads. Also add some magic school gym with girly classes like witches yogalates or something? I second the motion of installing jacuzzis and hot tubs. Sexier times, happier students.

As for hot teachers and school staffs, we need Megan Fox for detention sessions, people! Her and Nicholas Gonzalez. Yum!















We need to put a nightclub in Hogsmeade Village so the students can party it up on the weekend, maybe some sexy motels with spas and also lingerie stores? Witches & Wizards need to get it on too, when will JK Rowling see this? And when will wizarding world be less old school? I mean, orchestra-type of music? We need some hip-hop, bring on wizarding Kanye West or something, with his own batch of video hoes, we can put veela to good use.

That Hogwarts Express train? Yeah, let's make it more pimpin with hotter facilities inside. Big red couches, lava lamps, insane stereo systems, dance floor with a pole? And let's make it more interesting by letting seniors fly their enchanted Aston Martins to school, shall we?

And that's how Lolita and Nic makes Hogwarts hotter. Well, you know, or destroy it for the fans. I prefer the first.

What do you have in mind about making Hogwarts a sexier place*?





*To hardcore Harry Potter fans who are offended by our random talks, we suggest you to shove your own wand down your...ahem, the bottom is, we're just playing. And one of us ( Miss Lolita ) loves Harry Potter.