I had a bit of a breakdown/pity party last night thinking about how long I've been praying about being loving, trying to be a more gracious person, and still failing miserably. I thought of times I've been snotty, mean, judgmental, difficult- some from years ago. I'm not sure if the meat of this breakdown came from God or from Satan (if it was conviction or accusation), but I know that God used it.
I've prayed to be more gracious, to be full of love, and also to be humbled. I am thankful for the humble perspective that I gained through realizing how much I have in common with Paul and with all people on this planet: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Romans 7:15. I was glad when this verse came into my head last night, because even in my tears, the temptation was there for it to still be all about Me. But I don't run across anything that is uncommon to man, and I can always overcome.
It is so easy to be proud and to have no real grasp of the concept of grace when I don't have what people would consider huge sins in my past- no drugs, promiscuity, murder, violence. But I am no better than anyone, and nothing that I do earns my salvation or God's love. Grace is unmerited favor. A free gift.
I've been reading a book about grace and it has been focusing on God's grace to us so that we can see how little we deserve and, in turn, be more gracious to others. Everything I read I understood in my head, "yeah, yeah. Exactly. I don't deserve it", but it wasn't really clicking. I am extremely grateful for the small kick in the pants that I received, and I hope that I won't need further, bigger wake up calls in this area!
2 Corinthians 9:15
Blog Archive
Popular Posts
-
I really want to be done with C.S. Lewis Remembered so that I can move on . I have finally started skimming, and I am skimming with glee. ...
-
I've been having Project Runway dreams. THANKS, BRAVO! Last night there was also a dash of Six Feet Under, and also Christa Alberts wa...
-
Insomnia Trend - Come See What All the Fuss is About By Sherry L Harris Every time you turn on your television, open a newspaper or magaz...
-
Were this an actual blog post, it would either be much more interesting or much more boring. In any case, it would be longer. Regular blogg...
-
So, I'm recovering from a wonderful Birthday (def. with a capital 'B'). Yesterday I turned 25. Though I wasn't all that exci...
-
While I don't study anymore, but enjoy a sort of vacation for the moment, I finally have time to make more stuff. I love making stuff, c...
-
Sure, like most unskinny girls, I don't love shopping for clothes and looking at myself in the stores, but mall stores and such really a...
-
As I told you, budget shopping is high on my list these days. Luckily there're a lot of deals and sites that offer discounts. One among ...
-
Having perfect proportional posture of our body is really crucial for some human being in general. Moreover for most of women, they extremel...
-
Well, I love the end of the year holidays, they give a dark winter a bright and happy feeling. I must admit I'm a sucker for Christmas t...