Today I'm leaving this blog in the hands of Nikolett, one of my beautiful bloggy darlings from Canada. She's into coffee, quality times with her girl friends and boyfriend, also capturing those special moments with her camera. Girl got skill. She's about to graduate college ( like me, yay! ) and become a teacher someday. Girls, you will love her since she's as sweet as chocolate frosting and guys, she's a hottie! This will be the last guest post with me traipsing around Bali and I'll be back tomorrow to squeeze in vacation stories and photos. Enjoy!
When the lovely and most talented femcee I know asked me to do a guest blog, my first thoughts were: 1) I am SO jealous you are in Bali (even if there's lots of old men in Speedos); and 2) What on earth do I blog about? So I asked Andhari herself, who suggested I talk about life before the boyfriend -- life in singledom, and about any bad dates.
Here's a confession: from the last few years of high school to the middle of university, I was in a constant relationship. Three years of the three C's: craziness, cheating (on his part), and lots of crying (on my part). By the time that relationship came to its end all I could think was: yes! Finally! Time to discover "me", and be a single lady. (All my single ladies! Now put yo' hands up!)
I fully embraced my singledomness for a good month until I met ... the boy. We met each other on a city bus on the way from class (turns out we were in the same class), and after a few minutes of good conversation, he asked me out for coffee the next day. COFFEE? I was in. Though terrified. It was going to be my first 'real' date in three years. It would be my first date in university. I had no clue what to do.
I decided to be cool like le cucumber and be myself. We ordered our drinks -- I got a cappuccino while he tried his very first espresso in an attempt to impress(?) and almost gagged -- and our conversation flowed really well. We talked about school, movies, our families, dreams that we had. Until I threw out this gem:
So, do you have any diseases that I should know about?
Up to this day, I still have no clue what came over me when I asked that. And I pretty much zoned out right after that because all I remember is him laughing politely and clearing his throat before saying, "No" (and probably thinking, what a weirdo). But, we're together nearly two years later, so luckily that wasn't the question of death.
But it got me to thinking: what questions/topics should you completely avoid on a first date? I enlisted the help of the boy himself on the phone, and together we came up with a few.
Well, don't be like that guy (or girl) ;)
1) Anything to do with virginity (or lack thereof). Saying "I am/am not a virgin" on a first date usually isn't the best route to start getting to know someone. Leave a lil' something to the imagination.
2) THE FUTURE. By this, I mean your future with your date. Talk about your dreams, future careers and future education, by all means. But if you start saying anything like, "Oh, I think our children would be cute", you've officially gone off into the deep end. Unless you want to get married a week later (whatever floats your boat! ... oh my puns are horrible).
3) A list of all of your ex's and all the things that were wrong with them. He/she might start comparing him/herself to your exes, or wonder why that list is either way too long or full of complaints. Stay as positive as possible. And it's fine if this is the first person you've ever gone out on a date with, too. But just concentrate on yourself and that person ... leave the exes or non-exes out of it.
4) How much you love squirrels. Now, the boy came up with this one (which shows how weird he is, too). I personally think there's nothing wrong with confessing how much you love squirrels, but maybe try to tone it down a little. You want to be yourself on a first date, even though so many try to paint that picture-perfect version of themselves. But BE YOURSELF.
Confess that you like to play
World of Warcraft (who knows, they might like computer/video games and you'll have something in common), but don't say you missed two tests and got fired from your job because you played it for 48 hours straight. It might scare people away
(or turn some people on ... errm ...).
Seriously though, how could you not love that squirrel in the picture? And his nut ... ahem.
Those are just a select few, though I know the list could go on. So I ask you, either from personal experience or your brilliant brain: What questions or topics do you try to avoid on a first date?
And just so you know, I don't love squirrels ... too much. Hope you've all had a great day! Thanks again Andhari for letting me guest blog (hope I didn't scare any readers away with my ramblings!), and I can't wait to hear all the stories from Bali!
{images found via Mingle2.com and weheartit.com}