FYI: Depression hasn't a "why"

Some of you may not know this, so I'm telling you: if someone in your life is depressed, there probably isn't a real reason.  They're not doing it on purpose, and they aren't focusing on the wrong things.  Well, maybe they are- it can suck you in- but that's not my point. The point is that, at least for me, the depression is in me.  It always is.  I'm pretty sure it always has been. 

Yes, circumstances in life can kick it up a notch, but I can tell when it's chemically induced more than just overwhelming sadness because the circumstances in life really aren't that bad.  My life is fine.  My life is great.  I'm very happy.  I just happen to be super depressed right now.  And I know that there's no real reason for it other than my stupid brain.  So- don't worry.  Don't try too much cheer me up, don't point out all the good things I have, don't tell me this or that will make me feel better. 

Is it good for me to have some distraction? Yes, it is.  Tonight is New Year's Eve, and what I really want to do is sit in this chair and alternate staring into space with playing Bubble Town.  Preferably drunk.  But what I will do is go out with my friends, and laugh and have fun.  I don't need to wallow any more than I already do.

At least in my case, I have dealt with this long enough that I have a pretty good handle on how to deal.  I know that, though I can't just buck up and be done with this, I also need a swift kick in the rear to keep living and not get overly despondent or melodramatic.  I know that my life is great and that I'm being lame. 

A few of you can try to kick me in the butt, but be prepared for me to fight back a little.  It'll all be okay.

09/10

I'm debuting my new coat here, it's from a Belgian label called Chine. I love it's quality, it's so soft, but unfortunately not very warm.

It's still pretty cold out here and the wind has returned. Have I mentioned that I hate wind?!

Well, I do. It always messes up my hair, I have to use tons of hairspray on my bangs to stay in place. It makes me look like a crazy lady with hair flying out in all directions. The weather forecast promises snow soon. So I still put on 1000 different layers, I'm looking forward to spring!

Wearing: Chine coat / Vintage belt & boots / Asos glasses / H&M bag / Zara gloves

C&A Baret/ Westwood brooch (what a long list :p )

This Vivienne Westwood banana brooch is also new, I'm crazy about it! It sparkles like a Christmas tree!

I bought this armour ring at H&M. I've been hunting for the one from Westwood, but haven't got it yet.

So, 2010 is almost here and this will be the last post of this year.

I want to thank my lovely readers for the comments!

I wish you all a wonderful year full of fashion extravaganza, much love and health!

I'll be staying at home in front of the tv, because I have to study for my exams. It's still good, though, because I'm celebrating with my mom.

Happy New Year!

xoxo

2009- Man, am I glad it's over

I gotta tell ya, I don't feel like writing right now. (Gee! Thanks, Robin! I'm sure this will be GREAT!)  I know that I should write, though.  I can't believe I've only written once this month, when I know I have thoughts rolling around in my head.

Nutshell? I'm pretty depressed.  It's not like I'm crying and in the depths of despair, but more a conclusion I've come to or something I finally saw.  I have zero motivation to do anything other than play Bubble Town or be on FB & Twitter all day.  And I'm tired of it.

I don't like the way I live my life.  God & my husband don't allow me to not work so that I can get fatter and fatter and also get carpal tunnel.  I'm supposed to be doing things.  I'm supposed to take better care of my husband and house, I'm supposed to be volunteering more, I'm supposed to be reading and studying and hanging out with people I care about and exercising and playing real instruments, not just plastic ones.

Usually I'm not a big fan of shoulding on myself, but this is more than a guilt trip: it's a not quite rock bottom that I would like to be a turning point.  I'm clear about these things.

The year started oddly: my sister, who I probably love more than anyone in the world besides Seth, was in the hospital.  After about a month, I just couldn't stand it anymore and, after dropping my classes, went to Michigan to be with her.  I woke up one night just crying and freaking out because I couldn't stand the thought of her being alone in the hospital when my mom couldn't be there (and her husband was deployed).

The doctors were really being pessimistic and all but assuring her that her daughter would die, but we didn't believe them.  There are plenty of stories online about women in similar situations whose babies lived.  I, for one, expected Adi to be born premature and puny, but that she'd live.  Sure, complications were to be expected, but they'd be gotten past.  But she did die.

My sister had a horrible, terrifying c-section while my brother-in-law watched their daughter get yanked out of her, and then he watched her die after an hour.  My sister never saw her or held her alive.

The same day that my niece died, my friend's brother was accidentally shot and killed.  Let's cancel January 23rd from now on, okay?

I was in MI for a month, mourning and comforting as best I could, but I also had a good time with my friends and family.  A few days after my sister got out of the hospital, we went to Costco and my brother-in-law and I cracked up watching her try to run people down in the scooter/cart.  I got to see lots of my friends multiple times, I got drunker than ever before with one of my best friends and some guys from high school, I got together with some online friends, saw a Red Wings game, and got sick of winter.

After I was home for a few weeks, I went to stay with my sister for 2 weeks in North Carolina.  We had a great time, and we also got to visit our cousin and her family in Richmond, which was fabulous.

A lot of the year was good: I went to CHIC with the youth group, Seth and I had a great 10th anniversary vacation in the NW, and I had a fabulous class this fall.

This was also an expensive year, and my car currently sits dead in the driveway.  All told, I was out of my bed & away from home for almost 4 months this year.

I've been worried a lot this year.  About my sister, brother-in-law, parents, another sister who has been depressed and confused, the messed-up sister who lost both her kids but is pregnant with a third, about everything that could be worried about for my husband, about money, the marriages of multiple friends-- you name it.  I know I don't need to worry, and I sometimes do a good job of casting stuff on God.  But not enough, apparently. 

I stopped working with two ministries and added another one, which is still finding its rhythm.

I didn't really like our Christmas.

I want a house.

I want a best friend in California.

I've stayed on medicine, which I want to double, but I don't want to do that arbitrarily.  I can't ask my doctor do up my prescription, because I still haven't seen anyone about my depression.  I didn't think I needed to before, but maybe I do.  Maybe if I talked to someone about my stupid lack of motivation and what appears to be self-sabotage, I'd get somewhere.  I know that Jesus is helping me and I don't have to do all this on my own.

I'm just tired.  And I'm excited about this year being over.  I know it has been weird, and I want it to go.  I want to start over- start fresh.  Though some may call that naïve, I know that I can start fresh. I can start over right now, if I wanted to.  I've been trying for about 2 weeks now to change; to think in a new way.

I just keep sitting back down.

Merry X-Mas & Happy New Year

I know I'm a bit late (when not?), but still...

Merry X-Mas to all of you.

Technically I don't celebrate Christmas untill January, but I always spend it with my bf and his family. Who aren't big celebrators too :p We just exchange presents, which is always nice, not depending on the occasion. This was not a white X-mas, it never is. But the week before it was snowing like crazy, which is unusual in Belgium. Unfortunately I haven't taken any pictures, don't ask why... I only like snow when I'm inside, looking at it.

Anyways, this is what I wore. I accidently went head to toe in H&M, at least the blouse was from Cavalli's collection.

Why You'll Never Hear About Herbal Remedies For Insomnia From Your Doctor

With due respect to doctors, they don't know much about herbal remedies for insomnia because they haven't been trained in them. Doctors are pursued daily by representatives from the big drug companies who provide them with incentives such as free samples. It's not in a doctor's best interests to suggest natural remedies

It's not only doctors either, a lot of people believe herbs for insomnia to be a watered down solution compared to chemical sleep medication. This is because the benefits of insomnia herbs are not widely advertised, unlike the latest drug release. Why? Because there's just no money in it.

This is rather unfortunate because there are many who could benefit with more and better information about herbal remedies for insomnia, but they're not being informed. For instance when I ask people with sleep disorders if they would consider trying herbs for insomnia they'll say thing like:

"I'd better wait 'till I'm on vacation before trying them." "Er, can you buy them at the drug store?" "That's for elderly people, isn't it? Like aunts and that?" "Don't you have to take them for ages before they work?" "Aren't those herbs toxic?"

The truth is if you are having trouble sleeping, herbal remedies for insomnia are as effective as chemical sleeping pills. If fact they are so much better because you won't become "hooked" on them. Most herbs for insomnia are safe to take over the longer term without you having to worry about becoming addicted. The possible exception here is valerian which can have withdrawal effects.

Here are some safer herbs for insomnia you may not have come across before. However they have been proven to be very effective.

Nux Vomica - this is a wonderful herb for those type A personalities who tend to wake up in the middle of the night, planning all those things they have to do! Nux Vomica can really help such people to take a deep breath and relax.

Scutellaria laterifolia - A herbal nerve tonic for a fatigued nervous system, Scutellaria laterifolia is also a gentle sedative. It has beneficial effect on stress, nervous exhaustion, sleeplessness and anxiety.

Passiflora incarnata - If you have a tendency to worry, Passiflora incarnata, commonly known as Passionflower, is recommended as a soothing antidote to insomnia.

Coffea - is a homeopathic medication and targets sleeplessness due to an over-active mind. If you're agitated or physically restless, Coffea is the answer.

Herbal remedies for insomnia are safe, non addictive and can have an almost immediate effect when blended together in their recommended amounts.

However remember herbs are potent substances so either seek the advice of a professional herbalist or naturopath, or obtain your herbs already blended from a reliable source.


Autor: Wendy Owen

To discover more about obtaining and using herbal remedies for insomnia, visit Natural Sleep Medications Wendy Owen (Dip. Holistic Health Therapy) is a sleep researcher and writer with a passion for herbal and homeopathic remedies.

Added: December 11, 2009
Source: http://articlerich.com/Article/Why-You-ll-Never-Hear-A~

How to Cure Insomnia

In order to be at our best we generally need between seven and eight hours of good sleep each night.

But with the modern day stressful life the numbers of people with sleep problems are getting worse. Over one third of the population regularly has problems sleeping and one in ten have chronic insomnia. This is where there are problems falling asleep, waking in the middle of the night or waking too early. Where you consistently have problems functioning the next day.

There are actually a number of reasons leading to sleep problems. The most common causes are stress, worry, and depression. In addition medical problems could be the cause, or pain, some medications have an effect on your sleep, over use of alcohol or caffeine.

To resolve the problem it's important therefore to find the specific cause. It makes sense to discus your sleep issue with your family physician to get any medical problems treated first. Your physician can also prescribe medications that will help anxiety and depression.

If you feel that your sleep problems are caused by stress, worry or even depression then it makes sense to talk to a psychologist or counselor. There are some good programs that have been proved to decrease levels of stress, anxiety and depression. This in turn will improve your quality of sleep.

A psychologist can give you techniques to help you relax and ease the stress away. Psychologists generally have a range of other behavioral strategies to help reduce your sleeping problems. About 75% of people with insomnia report significantly improved sleep after completing this type of psychological treatment.

Family physicians regularly prescribe hypnotic medications that help people to sleep. These do help individuals who are going through a particularly stressful period. However these medications should only be used for a short period as they are become addictive. They can make your simple sleep problem a lot more difficult to resolve. They also become less effective if you use them over longer periods of time.

In addition some of these medicines will cause feelings of drowsiness and lead to difficulties in concentrating the next day. Over the counter sleep supplements are not always reliable solutions and are often just a waste of money as they simply don't work.

Sleep Medicines can help you catch up on some good sleep but don't by themselves fix the issue. They would need to be used alongside some other treatment or program that will resolve the actual cause. Where the underlying problem is successfully treated then the sleep problems will disappear too.

In summary, sleeping medication can be helpful only as a short term 'fix' but don't actually solve any underlying problem, whereas psychological treatments are effective in the long-term but may take a while to work.


Autor: Matthew Bettison

To find out more about Sleep Problems and Insomnia, the problems it can cause and how to overcome it then visit >= http://www.BestInsomniaRemedies.com

Added: December 9, 2009
Source: http://articlerich.com/Article/How-to-Cure-Insomnia/54~

More People Using Natural Sleep Aids

With more people every year turning to natural or alternative treatments, the use of natural sleep aids is on the rise. It"s not surprising since alternative and holistic health practices are quickly becoming part of the mainstream. In fact, more people are using natural remedies every year, and the percentage has been rising steadily over the last three decades.
Insomnia is one of the most common complaints doctors hear from their patients, but many are hesitant to prescribe sleeping pills due to the potential side effects and other complications of their use. This is in sharp contrast to the manner in which sleeping aids are pushed by manufacturers. You can"t get through an evening of television programming without seeing an advertisement for at least one prescription or over the counter sleep medication.
Natural Sleeping Aids are Part of the Holistic Health Movement
Holistic healthcare focuses not only on the symptoms, but the root of our medical problems, which is why it"s extremely popular with young families who are savvy about their health. Rather than simply temporarily masking a symptom (insomnia) with another symptom (drugged sleep), natural sleeping aids focus on why you can"t sleep. A natural sleep aid will help you relax if you are tense or to help alleviate anxiety if you are overly stressed. Both tension and stress are common causes of insomnia in adults.
People prefer natural remedies for their lack of side effects as well. While many sleeping pills contain ingredients that can cause allergic or adverse reactions, natural sleeping aids seldom if ever cause a problem. They are derived from natural plant extracts or are chemicals (such as melatonin) that our own bodies naturally produce. For the same reasons, you won"t become addicted to a natural sleeping aid. You can use one as long as necessary, and when you no longer need it, you will sleep fine without help and with no unexpected side effects.
Natural Sleeping Aids are Gentler
The most common ingredients in natural sleep aids include Valerian and Lemon Balm, two plant derived ingredients that are gentle to your stomach and central nervous system. You can use them to help you relax, unwind and prepare your mind for sleep without waking up with the groggy, unfocused hangover that many people experience from prescription sleep aids, which often contain narcotics or other harsh drugs.
It"s also nice to know you can keep a natural sleep aid on hand for whenever you may need it. Most of us don"t have insomnia on a regular basis, so we don"t see our doctors about the problem. If you occasionally experience insomnia, however, you don"t want to be lying awake all night, staring at the ceiling because you didn"t know you would need a sleep aid on that particular night. You can purchase natural sleep aids from any most major pharmacies, online or from a health food store. This way, any time you have trouble falling asleep, you have a gentle, effective way to alleviate the problem without waiting for a doctor"s appointment.
Consider a Combination Approach
You can safely combine more than one natural sleep aid for maximum effect if you know what amounts to take of each one. In fact, there are currently several versions on the market that have been developed by holistic health practitioners and doctors that have already done this for you. The most effective ones usually contain a blend of Melatonin, Valerian and Lemon Balm. This unique combination relieves anxiety, induces relaxation and helps to reset your own internal biological clock - all of which contribute to falling asleep faster and at the proper time.
If you would like to get rid of insomnia without pumping yourself full of potentially addictive or harsh prescriptions, look for all natural ingredients in the sleep aid you choose. By using a natural sleep aid, you protect both your body and your sleep.

Autor: Christopher Alex

About the Author:
The author of this article knows the importance of natural sleep aids. He also knows all about natural sleep remedies and has provided valuable advice to many people worldwide. He has also written many articles related to natural sleep aid which are handy guides for millions of people in this planet.

Added: December 5, 2009
Source: http://articlerich.com/Article/More-People-Using-Natur~

The Swell Season

Verily, I say unto you, I have never been to a better concert than The Swell Season, November 20th, Paramount Theatre, Oakland, CA.  I hadn't listened to the new CD, Strict Joy, so had worried a bit that the show may be slightly boring, based on their single, "In These Arms," which is quite mellow and quiet.  I wanted to go, though, since I love the music from Once so very, very much.  I warned Seth that it may just be a concert where we are a little snoozy, but we hear beautiful music, so it's "nice."

Oh, I was so wrong. As soon as Glen & Mar came on stage, I was ridiculously happy.  There is something magical (yes, I said, "magical") about hearing in person music that you love so much, especially when it's from a movie.  It feels extra-special or strange to see the people & hear the songs.  So I was grinning like an idiot and felt, well, buoyant when they started singing.  "In These Arms" was touching and lovely, and was already a little teary during, "If You Want Me," which was the 2nd song.

They sang the first few songs sitting on the ground together, then she went over to the piano, and he eventually brought out his band, The Frames, who I also love.  As you may know, but I had forgotten, things are always a little more loud and rowdy in person, so even the slower songs were more powerful live, and they were definitely rocking sometimes.

For a small set, the guys from The Frames and Marketa left the stage, and Glen stood there with his holey guitar you saw in the movie and sang an acoustic set for us. Oy.  That's all I can really say.  Oy.  He started singing "Say It To Me Now," behind the mic, but quickly stepped out and just belted it from the front of the stage, and I seriously wept the whole time. (It's a short song.)  The man is amazing. 

Aside from being rollicking and emotional and powerful, it was also a really fun and intimate concert.  The theater seats about 3000 people, so it wasn't too big.  Glen interacted a ton with us in the audience, telling funny stories, encouraging us to sing along ever louder, and even taking a few questions and requests.  They did "Falling Slowly" during their encore, which ended up being 4 songs, I believe, including an old blues/folk song that we all had to sing.

Their U.S. tour is almost over, but I highly encourage you to watch Once if you haven't, buy all their music, check out The Frames and buy their music, and see The Swell Season next time they're near you.

Insomnia - Easy Ways To Cure Insomnia Without Medication

In today's fast paced society a lot of people suffer from insomnia, the inability to get enough adequate sleep. Fortunately, insomnia is not something you have to live with for the rest of your life. But curing insomnia can be a challenge which may require some life style changes.

There are many possible causes for insomnia. You should always try to figure out the cause, so you can fix the cause rather than the symptom, in this case insomnia. If your insomnia is caused by your life style, your best solution is to change your life style.

Things you should try avoid in order to cure insomnia are:

Don't use sleeping pills or other medication to fall asleep. They are no long term solution and many of them have negative side effects. Note, never stop taking your medication without consulting your doctor first.

Don't drink coffee, or anything else containing caffeine, or alcohol in the evening. The former will make it more difficult to fall asleep while the latter will prevent you from getting the quality sleep you need.

No heavy meals in the evening. If your body is busy digesting food, you will not get the deep sleep needed to feel refreshed.

Don't let the clock decide when you go to bed. If you are not tired, do not go to bed. Read a book or listen to some peaceful music until you are feeling sleepy.

Don't worry about what may happen tomorrow. Decide to worry about the future tomorrow. And you can't change the past, so don't be upset about what happened during the day.

Don't sleep during the day. If you sleep during the day, you will have trouble falling asleep in the evening. If you feel tired during the day, go for a walk and get some fresh air.

Things you should do to cure your insomnia are:

Exercise, if possible on a daily basis. It can be as simple as a 30 minute brisk walk. Also, avoid heavy exercises late in the evening. Your body needs time to cool down afterwards.

Make sure that you have a good sleeping environment. Your bedroom should have a comfortable bed and be cool, dark and quit.

Create your own bedtime procedure. You need to cool down and start relaxing before going to bed, you may want to try a simple relaxation exercise. By doing the same procedure every evening you program your brain to start cooling down.

Listen to special audio CDs that will tell your brain to slow down. You can re-program your brain and teach it to prepare for sleep.


Autor: Reijo Metso

For more information about how to overcome insomnia without using medication, go to http://www.InsomniaClinic.info

Added: December 3, 2009
Source: http://articlerich.com/Article/Insomnia---Easy-Ways-To~

Easy Ways to Cure Insomnia Naturally

Insomnia is a sleep disorder that is characterized by having difficulty falling asleep as well as difficulty staying asleep. Insomnia is a common problem, for some people it means experiencing an occasional sleepless night every now and then. Others have trouble getting enough adequate sleep almost every night.

The best solution to cure insomnia is to find the root cause and remove it. Of course, the problem is not always that easy. But if your insomnia is caused by your lifestyle, the best long-term solution is to change your lifestyle. In most cases, it is better to do one small change at a time, rather than trying to change everything at once. The latter approach is too ambitious for most people. Without fast results it is easy to get discouraged and give up. A healthier lifestyle has many more benefits than just improving your sleep.

Some of the most reliable ways to cure insomnia naturally are:

Be physically active during the day. Not only can exercises make you sleep better but you get other health benefits as well. Just a daily 30 minute brisk walk is a good beginning for most people. Just make sure that you avoid heavy exercises in the evening, your body needs time to cool down.

Create your own bedtime routine, so your brain knows it is time to cool down and go to bed. This should include something relaxing, such as listening to calm soothing music, so you start to cool down.

If you are feeling stressed or anxious, include meditation or anti-stress exercises in your day. Far too many worry about what may happen tomorrow. Decide to relax now and worry about things tomorrow, if they happen. It is far too common to worry about things that never happen.

Try hypnotherapy treatment by a professional hypnotist. Some chronic insomniacs have been cured by hypnosis. Unfortunately, this can become an expensive cure. It is cheaper to buy self-hypnosis CDs and do it yourself. But most of them seem to have limited effect compared to seeking help from a professional hypnotist.

Use special audio CDs to teach your brain to slow down before bedtime. You can re-program your brain to automatically prepare for sleep. This will create new neural pathways in your brain, permanently changing your ability to sleep. Once your brain has been re-programmed you do not need to listen to the CD anymore.


Autor: Reijo Metso

If you want to know more about how to cure insomnia without using medication, go to http://www.InsomniaClinic.info

Added: December 2, 2009
Source: http://articlerich.com/Article/Easy-Ways-to-Cure-Insom~