This book, bittersweet, is really good. It's very small chapters describing tiny pieces of her year/year and a half of brokenness. She sees the times when she focused on the wrong thing and, like Lewis's house of cards, she realizes that her faith was never really there. All she ever wanted was to get what she wanted, not to be molded by God.
As I go through this tumultuous time in my life, I'm pleased to see that I'm not quite in the same place she was. I do trust God and want to float on his waves more than I want to fight them. This book is speaking to my heart, but it's also helping me to stand up and claim that vibrant faith I've been praying about. I know that everything in my life right now is very good, so I need to stop moping.
One of the most powerful chapters so far is one in which she addresses the poisonous command she once gave herself: DO EVERYTHING BETTER. She took each word apart and realized how she was (and many of us do) beating herself down with them. I was happy when I realized that this was my own book and I could write in it. I starred this section:
There is work that is only mine to do: a child that is ours to raise, stories that are mine to tell, friends that are mine to walk with. The grandest seduction of all is the myth that DOING EVERYTHING BETTER gets us where we want to be. It gets us somewhere, certainly, but not anywhere worth being.I really love what she says are her jobs. I love it. I love the idea of fully inhabiting your life and seeing all parts of it as a unique vocation- not comparing yourself to others because they cannot do what you are supposed to do.