Apparently, being up past my bedtime makes me a bit maudlin. Perhaps I should finish the wine in the fridge to truly make it a banner evening.
Big changes are afoot, but what is difficult is that the catalyst for the afoot-ing isn't definite. But we still need to invest in it quite seriously. One day, I decide that life can go on, at least semi-normally, for the time being, then the next I get information leading me to believe that all must be turned upside-down ASAP. And I feel like God is sending mixed messages. Like he's thrown open a bunch of doors at once, and I'm supposed to go through all of them. Or I've gotten a fair way down a certain path that I believe he's directing, and then there's this fork. It's an important fork. Maybe I need to go that way. But leave all the other stuff?
Maybe they'll meet up again. Maybe I don't have to give up anything.
I don't want to let go. But I can only handle so many pressures. I'm not real good at it. Were I to let go of one commitment, it would both break my heart and not make a lot of sense to me. But I don't see what else I can change.
2011 is going to be the most different year ever.
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