Happy Halloween...

...from "Tila Tequila" and these amazing peeps :

...the sexy nurse

...the monster ( or issit fanged creature? )

...the vampire DJ and "Justin Timberlake"

...the greek goddess and the vampire villain

...Jack Sparrow and G.I Joe

...and of course, the headless ghost!

More pictures are in my facebook album.

"Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it." - Cady on Mean Girls.

Cheers to that!

Do you dress up this year? Paste me a link of a picture in the comment if you do, please. Have a good one!

TMI Thursday : Wet the Tent

Alright guys, I know I posted pretty late since technically it's not Thursday anymore here. But I was basically out all night for a practice, from where I have embarrassing videos of yours truly to upload later. Right now though, in Chief TMI ( Lilu ) 's words, let me share something wholly unclassy and completely tasteless. This time is about one of my friend way back in elementary school, let's call her Gaby for anonymity purpose.

Gaby and me, we were girl scouts* in elementary school.

I'll let that sink in your head for a while, my non- Indonesian friends.

For my Indonesian friends, you know how being a girl scout is obligatory here. You must at least knew the taste of being one all through elementary school. We didn't really sell cookies ( although I did once or twice ), but we did a lot of activities for our leadership experience. Apparently one of them is camping.

I actually don't hate camping, now or when I was a kid. I think it's a challenge, sleeping in a tent and be out there in the wild. So when all us little girl scouts were told that we're going for a camping for three days and two nights, I squealed excitedly. Gaby was as excited as me until we found out WHERE we're going.

It's not on a beautiful mountain area or nearby hills, it's on a camping ground in Cibubur area, just outside of Jakarta.

For you my non-Jakarta friends ( I doubt even Indonesians outside the city know the place ) , the place itself actually isn't so bad. The rumor about the place is.

I don't know about it now but when I was a kid, I heard it's one of the scariest place around. We've heard many stories about hauntings there. People went there to go camping and at nights they saw creepy stuff like headless ghost, or pale woman with her guts ripped off. I heard some even went to pee in the woods and never came back. There's something really eerie about the place, it was foggy and everything too.

We still went because our parents thought our reasons to not want to go was ridiculous. Grrr, old people and their skeptical minds, you know?

We arrived late afternoon when it's starting to get dark. Me and Gaby held each other's hand pretty tightly and we promised ourselves we would not be separated. We walked very close to each other while venturing the woods with the rest, whispering each other to not look up because we believed there may be ghosts watching you from the trees. We got quiet and a bit paranoid too. When everyone had dinner and sat around the bonfire singing, we sang half heartedly and more focused in observing the surrounding itself. We scared each other and a few other friends, pointing to a direction and said stuff like, "I think I saw something moving over there."

So it's not so surprising to see we couldn't really sleep that night. To add the trouble, we had 5 or 6 girls in a medium sized tent who pressed themselves so close to each other and not in a sexy girl-on-girl way. I was thinking of smothering a who snored and breathed loudly on my ears when I heard Gaby whispered my name,"Psst..Psst..Andhari.."

I looked at her sleeping spot, she was sitting. "Yes?" I whispered back.

"I want to pee.." answered her, looking desperate, "Can you go with me?"

I glared at her, she knew instantly what I meant. DEFINITELY NOT. Did she hear all those stories? SO MANY GHOSTS OUT THERE. I mean, they would kidnap you and made you watch their scary faces right? They would expose their fangs and then bite you right? Oh wait, those are vampires.**

"Hold it!" I said. "But I can't hold it until the morning!" she whined. We then sat there in silence, staring at each other tensely. "I can't hold it! If you don't go with me, I can pee here right now!" She pleaded.

"Then pee here!" I said.

"WHAT?" Gaby looked confused.

"Pee here. Everybody's sleeping. It's not like you pooped, it will be dry in the morning. I'm not gonna go outside and let ghost eat me."

This is when I looked back and realize I would make a damn fine lawyer someday because Gaby nodded, moved to the corner of the tent and did the business.

No I wasn't watching, you pervert.

We went back to sleep like nothing happened, but the next morning I learned that although the pee didn't leave any remains on the tent, it did leave very foul smell. I don't know if pee always smells that bad or Gaby ate raccoons for breakfast but one thing for sure, nobody could sleep the following night. Yikes.






* Who will dress as a sexy girl scout this Halloween? NAUGHTY!
** 5 vampires that could freely expose their fangs and bite me : Damon Salvatore, Eric Northman, Edward Cullen, Stefan Salvatore, and Angel. What?

Big Ball Of Anxiety

My mid term is basically done.

I have a presentation to do on Friday and while it annoys me, at least I don't have to memorize anything for hours. There are a bunch of smart younger students in my group, let them memorize for hours. I'm KIDDING. Kinda.

Anyhoo, in any other weeks the above fact may cause me to jump up and down and nap for hours in front of the TV with big bowl of caramel popcorn.

Not this week though.

MY SOUL NATION GIG IS THIS SATURDAY!

And D'Makaveli's Halloween party the guys have worked so much for in Buddha Bar? IT'S THIS FRIDAY!

WHY AM I TALKING IN ALL CAPS?

Ahem. So yeah, the biggest gig of the year is approaching fast, giving me heavy burden on my shoulders. I have one goal and one goal only : charm them off their pants. That sounds wrong but whatever. As some of you might know, I asked 3 rappers and a singer to collaborate in a few songs. The total number of tracks would be 17 and I'm also gonna be accompanied by my backing rapper who will do crazy stuff with his talk box and a DJ. My busy mid term made me practice less than I'd hoped for. But I'm gonna get one tomorrow night and hopefully we an practice again before or after sound check.

It didn't really hit me before how all artists basically compete here. There will be 4 or more stages in the area so when your show is at the same time with another artist's, it's like you are on each other's throats. I've seen a lot of my fellow rappers / singer tweeted and promoted their sets online. Sometimes even too much. They told each other good luck and dropped nice words, but I've been doing this for so long to see which ones are genuine and which ones are basically a silent threat. It's like they said, "More people will watch me. I'll perform better than you so sleep with one eye open!" through the smileys.

Yeah, they made me nervous. Yeah, every time I read about them practicing every night to develop their already-crazy gimmicks and collaborations ( one group will be accompanied by break dancers covered by silver paint from head to toe, how could I top THAT? ), I winced a little. I got into a full self doubting mode and I need to slap myself in the face to focus. I shouldn't think about what other artists will bring to the table, I should only think about WHAT I will. They could hire chimpanzees in pink tutus for all I care.

Big question for you though : What do you think I should wear? I should have two prepared for the show. Something pretty, fierce, yet at the same time enable me to move and jump around. Tube dress is out of the question, of course. I don't need to display my boobs to the whole audience, in case I get too energetic.

Speaking of what to wear, I already got my Halloween costume delivered. It includes sexy sequined dress and blond wig. Guess who I would be?

FRIED!!!

This is what I've been doing since, well, 7 to 8 hours ago.

I can has a break?

Not to promote violence or bad influence or whatever, but someone should really torch my school.

That is all.

Hide me! Quick!

I wonder if anyone tends to get awkward in a public place, because I do.

It would be nice to know I'm not the only person who, in a crowded room, prefer to walk further along the side to get to the opposite direction rather than just making my way through the middle, where most people usually gather.

Usually when I tell people this, they roll their eyes and say, "oh please, you rap and perform a lot."

But who I am on stage is completely different with who I am normally. Besides, with my pretty bad eyesight and spot lights, I wouldn't be able to see faces in the crowd. And my songs? They have power to turn a self conscious girl into an overactive over-energetic chimpanzee with a hat and mini trumpet you often see in a circus. Only maybe a bit more drunk.

I think I may have a bad social skill, add the fact that it's hard for me to not over-analyze people's gestures, expressions, and words.

For example, during new social setting where I'm introduced to a new group of girls by a friend. You know how some girls can just stare at you from head to toe? I can't take that. I will think there's something wrong with the way I dress or the way I look and it will distract me from enjoying my time and make casual conversations. I will usually proceed to sit beside someone I'm close to the most and just smile at what people say. Some mean people might even judge my shyness as arrogance and it doesn't help when they stare, whisper to their friends ( I always think they talk about me even when they don't ) , or ignore me.

Same goes during one of those times when I happen to be alone at a public place. To get a coffee or buy DVD's to watch at home, for example. You know when you walk pass a bunch of people, another woman usually, who also stares at you or what you wear. It's not like you know them people. In these situations, I will most definitely over analyze. I keep muttering inside my head, "please don't smirk, please don't smirk, my goodness do I dress like a pile of junk today?" Yeah, it's that annoying.

It's that annoying and in my head, I usually have a few options :

• Glare back at the bitches ( sorry! )
  
• Approach them and ask, "What's the fudge brownie is YOUR problem?", or
  
• Punch their faces

I wonder why I never did any of those. I usually either :

• Look down ( and hate myself )
• Stare at the opposite direction
• Pull up my berry and pretend to text
  

Sad much?

What I'm bad at the most, however, is responding to people's not-so-nice words. Some of you tough people may be able to respond them wittily, if you don't kick them or say hurtful things back that make them curl up and cry. But I'm not. A friend of mine told me once that my thighs looked huge when I wore a hot pants, you know what I did? Smiled, cried a bit when I drove home alone, ate less and worked out three times harder and drop 8 kg's in two and a half weeks. Not kidding.

I was 17 at the time and I know I can't let myself be pushed around anymore. I like to think I'm stronger now and much less fragile but it's not always easy.

How do you handle situations like these? How do you get rid of awkwardness? How do you respond people's bad gestures or words? Have you ever karate chopped someone? How illegal is that?

Man, I ask a lot of questions.

ps. In a completely different note, check this out :

pss. WOO-HOO! Purchase your ticket here and watch me this Saturday! Time flies!

I'm gonna make you dance!

If you know me or read me for a while then you guys know I'm OBSESSED with Ian Somerhalder. Damon Salvatore, to be exact. Ian himself might be a super good looking man but as the evil vampire Damon in The Vampire Diaries? *steals an inhaler from a kid with asthma*

This dancing scene from a couple of episodes ago might be one of the sexiest dance any actor did in modern TV. All the huge sophisticated gloomy vampire house, intoxicated yet frisky lady victim, misuse of alcohol, and him dancing, plotting, jumping and showing off his sexy abs and stripper-like moves are simply EPIC.













Or as my dear friend Miss Rambles / fgrngtllt put it, "Excuse me while I go change my panties!"

Ladies, watch it. Gentlemen, watch and learn ( and go to the gym, etc etc ).

Am I right if I say people who can dance are major turn-on? Do you dance? Do your significant others / crushes dance? What's your signature dance moves and what's your favorite song to dance at the moment?

What's the point of this post? Nada. But it's the weekend and it's not like everyone gonna read anyway. Have a good one!

Tmi Thursday : Gotta Love Underwear Models

Holy crap, it's Thursday. You know what it means? Crazy kids gotta participate on Lilu's TMI Thursday. Today's TMI story is about a guy best friend of mine, he's not new in my blog because I wrote about him in one of my previous TMI posts.

So if you've read my blog for long, let me refresh your memory. Remember a guy friend of mine who liked a Japanese chick who's into blond haired guy, he ended up dyeing his hair blond only to have it rubbed all over her crotch? Yeah, that guy. I wont mention his name here like I did in the previous post. Let's just call him with his initial, R.

I should give him TMI award for having really awesome things happen to him often.

A lot of people know that my friend R currently works in an oil company in Singapore since last year, and before that he worked here in the company's Jakarta office. But less people know that aside of that, he's also a part time model...

... unless for people who are into fashion so much and read fashion magazines, of course. Finding his pictures in magazines and store billboards are unavoidable. The guy's tall, toned, tanned, and of Puerto Rican and French descents. Fashion industry loves him, so do women and men ( He's straight though ) . He did ad campaigns for several brands, some that I remember were Etro, Energie, Diesel, and... Calvin Klein underwear.

Enjoy this, lovelies!

Knowing your friend did an underwear ad is amazing, you see? You can constantly mock him about it. Especially when you go to the store in the mall and see the big billboard of him and another model dude sprawling on a big white bed only in their tight briefs.

But you know what's even more amazing? Hearing his ( overly ) detailed story about it. I remember it as if it was yesterday.

R, me, and our friend Natasha were out shopping at one of the malls here. Of course we made it a habit to walk pass the store and mocked R. We then sat at our favorite coffee shop to drink, eat cakes, and talk. Its our after-shopping habit. As we enjoyed our coffees, Natasha asked about the other model dude in the billboard because he's cute, she wondered whether R could introduce them and asked what he's like.

R kinda got this weird expression on his face before he answered, "Alex. He's Russian. Don't really know the guy but I don't think you want him."

Of course Natty was all like, "Why not? You don't think I'm pretty enough for him?"

The following conversation ensued.

R : No, of course you're pretty. I just think he's not into women.

Me : How do you know? He's bigger than you.

R : *glared*

Me : I'm not talking junk size, you're such a guy. I'm talking pecs and biceps!

R : Believe me, I KNOW.

Natasha : How do you know? He told you or something?

R : No, he got a hard on when the photographer took picture of us on that bed...

Us : WHAT???

R : Yeah...

Me : *laughing* Explain!

R : Yeah...he told me he's sorry but he couldn't help it with us being so close all afternoon. The whole photo shoot was a bit stalled because you cant have it while shooting for underwear ad. I mean, we were only in our briefs.

By that time, me and Natasha were laughing to tears and R scowled. Definitely regretted telling us this. But he still answered when Natasha asked, "What did Alex do then? You guys finished the shoot, after all."

R said matter-of-factly, "He told us he needed 5 minutes bathroom break."

I didn't have the heart to ask R who did he think Alex was fantasizing during his "bathroom break", if you know what I mean. Awkward.

Douche Of The Year

Okay, lovelies, I need to blow some steam off before I shoot someone off the head. So bear with me, I wish you guys were here sprawling around the rug and giving me tissues and hugs.

Or a large cup of Coldstone's cookie dough ice cream. That always helps.

Today, I spent majority of the morning in class discussing confusing stuff related to land permit ( Why do I go to law school again? ) . Then I had to meet my thesis advisors and found out they hadn't reviewed a thesis chapter I've given them 2 WEEKS ago. They apologized like it was nothing, like it didn't have anything to do with me not finishing my thesis as fast as I've wanted. They told me to come back next Monday instead.

Afterward, I went to Lloyd's studio, where we made new minus ones for my Soul Nation gig next week. We rearranged the song list, pulled back a few songs and the whole thing took like, 6 hours. I know I have Diplomatic Law exam tomorrow but I couldn't just bail. I had to drop the finished data CD's to my DJ's house right after too. It was pretty late when I was finished and I looked forward to go home and study... when my car bumped into a car right in front of me.

And before you asked, everything was okay. The road was fully packed so a lot of idiotic drivers just hit the brake without giving any signs first. I figure the bump left a really small scratch since my speed wasn't high. However, the driver signaled me to stop and when we did, a guy came out from the car, looking a bit pissed. He looked just a little bit older than my 17 years old brother, and I noticed he was in several TV commercials. I guess you could say he's cute, for a teenager ( Jail bait much? Cue Taylor Lautner moment here ).

Or at least I thought so, until he started talking. Here's a bit of play by play :

First, he was interrogating me why I bumped to his car. He lectured me about being careless and shit. I said sorry for about 1000000 times. Then he told me his parents would kill him if they found out. That he needed to bring the car and get it fixed soon. That I totally messed up his plan for the night. He showed me the damage on the back bumper. It's barely a scratch. It's barely a full line. It's not that bad at all, a guy knowing a thing or two about car will be able to cover it. I wanted to call someone badly but my phone's out of battery.

Second, he called one of his friends, panicking on the phone. He said he had some ''accident". I could tell his friend wasn't so sympathetic. When he said it was a scratch, there's a bit of silence before he hung up. He asked whether I could give him the money to fix the car and he mentioned an amount that's certainly much bigger than the damage, I told him how I've destroyed and bumped my car so many times in so many ways. I know a thing or two about the costs to fix a car. Then he became impatient and told me to either give him my ID card or driver's license. I breathed deeper since I really wanted to strangle him at the moment. I kept myself from screaming, "It was an effin small scratch, grow a penis!"

Third, he sat on my car hood and asked a bunch of stuff about me that had nothing to do with what we were dealing with at the moment. He asked where I live, which school I go to, how old I am, where I was going, and whether or not I have a boyfriend. All in flirtatious puppy dog tones. "I have five!" I snapped. His expression changed, he told me again that I need to give him money. I gave what I had in my purse since I haven't gone to the ATM machine. He said it may not be enough and he demanded me to give him my number. Which I did. I really needed to go home and study, you know? And yeah, I'm that responsible good person that some people like to take advantages of. I could kick myself for not giving him the number to Dominatrix hotline instead.

Fourth, he called me as soon as I got home. He just spoke to his parents, I could tell his dad was talking on the background. WTF, Papa boy? He told me he would get his car in a professional auto shop and I could just pay the money to them. I got the feeling they would use this to get more money out of me so I recommended him an affordable auto shop near my old high school. I mean, it's an effin small scratch. I bet you anything, the mechanic could fix it under two hours in a pretty cheap prince, if he isn't being a lying jerk. He said I should go with him and I said I'm too effin busy and I'd just transfer the money. He didn't seem to be pleased with the idea but finally said yes.

Fifth, he text me not 15 minutes after the phone call to inform me he'd bring the car tomorrow to said place and I could transfer him the rest of the money. He also told me he has my license plate number written. What, papa boy? Are you threatening me? How cheap are you and your family? I think the money I've given him is pretty much enough to fix the tiny scratch. No, scratch it again, I KNOW the money is enough. I've fixed bigger car damage with less money. I think for more money I'm about to send him again, I deserve to completely total his car. Who wants to join me? Bring golf sticks and baseball bats.

Have you met anyone so douchey?

What do you like about Andhari?

Hello dearies! No, this is not Andhari... It's a guest post, but before you run away, wait! Let me tell you, that I won't ramble about something I usually do on my blog. I try to make this another Insomniac Lolita worthy post, hopefully it will become one of her most popular posts. You think I'm full of myself, ah? No, I'm not. Because this post will be about Andhari and her blog (and a little bit about me). Ok, lemme introduce myself: I am Nino a.k.a. MKL and my blog is My Kafkaesque Life. And she doesn't have a clue what I will write about, this was totally my idea :-)

I was a bit surprised today to see Andhari's tweet asking me, if I would guest post on her blog. Wow! What an honor. I couldn't reject such a lovely proposal, but I started to become a bit nervous about what to write. Guest posts usually don't get a lot of traffic and I don't want to be one of those overlooked posts. So the only thing to make this post interesting to read (IMHO) is to write about how I stumbled upon this blog and why I like Andhari. I did that a while ago on my blog (about me) and it felt really great and boosted my ego. So I hope you guys, who read this blog regularly, share your first encounters with Insomniac Lolita and Andhari and please make her comment section long like Sumatra.

Let me share how I came across this blog. I've just rummaged through this blog's archive and I've realized that I found this blog about half a year ago, but I dropped my first comment end of May. At that time my blog had a different name (Nino's World) and I was just starting to blog more regularly and passionately and I begun to check out many other blogs. So one day I came across Insomniac Lolita. And I saw something like this:

She'd write: Hot hot hot! :)

I was like: "This girl likes to post a lot of topless guys' photos." (Aha, that's good, cuz now I don't feel bad about posting pics of hot girls on my blog.) Then I saw she has a lot of followers and she raps. Wow. Interesting. Then I thought about the name: Insomniac Lolita. I was like: "Isn't it a bit bold to choose lolita? I mean, you'll get a lot of traffic from older guys with highly questionable motives..." But some time later she wrote a post about it and I found it very funny, hehe. Then I thought it's actually a very smart idea to use this name, because it's unique and traffic is traffic, right?

And after just reading this blog for a while, I decided to drop my first real comment [see pic below], which is so typically me (because I could relate to the topic). It was her post about how she's mistaken for other nationalities [you can read the post here].

Now you know how I found you, Ndee :)

So, weeks and months passed and I read her blog occasionally. At that time, I only followed few blogs. But then, about 2 months ago, we suddenly clicked. And ever since we tweet and follow each other's blogs regularly. So I may not be one of her oldest followers, but she always makes me feel like I was.

So let me tell you why I like Andhari and her blog: It's because she's so genuine - the more you read her blog, the more you realize how refreshing that is. She's very appreciative and she always gives back (as much as she can) and I'm sure you guys feel that, too. I mean, this girl comments a lot on almost all of your blogs. Sometimes I wonder how she manages that. Because besides studying and rapping, she not only finds time to blog about her fabulous life, she also gives back the love she recieves from you guys. That's awsome, isn't it? And she's very funny and not only on her blog. If you happen to tweet with her, she will make you crack up and chuckle daily. She's also very supportive and positive. If you write an emo post, she will cheer you up, she will try her best to comfort you. And besides all that, she's an excellent writer. Her stories are real and she has a great way to write them down. She's highly passionate about what she writes, be it her legendary TMIs, fashion posts, posts about parties and performances or just pics of hunky topless [*cough] white [*cough] men, hehe. She's simply one of a kind and an awsome person, blogger, rapper and friend.

Now share your story about how you stumbled upon this blog and tell me what do you like about Andhari.

*don't you love how she always writes something like this at the end? :P

Sunday Lovelist #25

I.AM.SMASHED.

I know you guys want me to say something beside "I'm tired" on my Sunday post ( or any other posts in general ), but I can't help it. I had a masseuse coming to release some of the tensions in my body ( not that tension! ) but I'm still feeling it.

I'm still gonna post a short love list though.

On Music...

• My song 1928 is officially accepted in Prambors Radio for Youth Pledge Day campaign. Squee! One of the announcers said that the people there were nodding their heads and bumping to it the first time they listened to it. Starting on October 28th, the song will be played in Prambors radio in all 8 cities in Indonesia multiple times a day. I hope the listeners like it. It'll help promote my music so much.

• I'm almost finished writing for two more songs. I'm all about writing them these days to complete the play list for my Soul Nation gig. On Tuesday, we're gonna make minus one CD's to give to our DJ and I hope before next week ends, we're gonna start practicing and gather all the guest performers for real. I'm nervous, scared, excited, but all of these are such a valuable experience. I've been watching concert videos of so many big time rappers too and take tons of notes.

• Speaking of Soul Nation, they featured me in their blog. Check it out here, and please please please comment and make me sound important. Kidding. Kinda.
  

• I'm offered a few more gigs for the upcoming weeks, one of them is Indonesian Hip-Hop Parade that will take place in a huge water park in a neighboring town. This will be a challenge! I'm gonna perform along other female rappers and somehow I just can't push my competitive side, is this normal? Somehow it makes me wanna prove myself MORE. Women, huh?

• I'm also offered a collaboration with a big time Asian - American rapper, can't tell you the name because I don't wanna jinx it. Dude is connected to Robin Thicke and working with Tupac's brother, Mopreme Shakur, for short. He got sick flow, lyrics, beats and when he messaged me, I feel so honored. I hope this comes through, that will be a huge point in my rap career.
  

• I performed in Lippo Supermal Karawaci yesterday. For you non-Indonesians, it's three freaking hours outside Jakarta. My drivers went back home for the weekend so I had to drive myself with Lloyd Popp, his big ass keyboard, talkbox, laptop, etc. We faced traffic of total 6 hours drive, muscle sores from loading / unloading equipments, and panicking waiting for the gig to finish. See, Lloyd had to DJ at another mall and I had to go to D'Makaveli event in Ritz Carlton afterward. It was raining so bad too. I've never felt so tired in a day these days. We made a video though, this was taken before our performance, check it out :

I rambled a lot when I'm nervous, don't you think? Ignore my sweaty face!
On school...

NADA. I swear they're giving me lots of assignments at the point I wanna freak out. Mid test is starting this week and my thesis advisors decided to be difficult to meet. They're barely around. Is the university supposed to pay them to SHOW UP?

On other random things...

• I LOVE ROBIN THICKE'S SEX THERAPY. It's like my song of the week, I always listen to it late at night these days. If you read me for a while / follow me in twitter, you know how much I love slow jam mood music and this is certainly a good example of it. If you don't believe me, turn the lights off wherever you are, lay back and listen to this :
  

Hot, hot, hot, hot!

• Crunchy sushi rolls make me happy. I've been craving them almost all week but I didn't have time to go out at all. My mom took me to one of my favorite sushi places for dinner today and I totally clapped and rubbed my belly like a baby seal.

• Manolo Blahnik's Spring - Summer 2010 collection is craaaaazzzyyy! Check them out here. A whole bunch of flirty colored strappy heels. I personally like this season platform trend sbetter than strappy anything, but I might be tempted with one of these. Guys out there better be ready to get a pair for their girls on Valentine's Day, so much better than flowers and chocolates. Ladies, you hear me?
  

• I had fun spending time with my lovelies yesterday. I met them for dinner at FX before heading out to Ritz Carlton to check on D'Makaveli gig with Kubo but it still makes me happy. They always knew how to crack me up and put a smile on my face. So, 6 hours drive from out-of-town gig and tired face be damned. I work hard but always ready to play. Here are a few of pictures :

With pretty Ursie. This picture is tricky, my boobs look bigger here ( yay? )

Goofing around with my girl Shahnaz, waiting for the cars to arrive

Me and Daanish at Champagne Lounge, right before the liquors kicked in

Is anyone having a good weekend? Stay safe and happy, my dearies.

TMI Thursday : Captain Commando

Okay, I know Friday has started for around an hour over here, but at least where most of you live it's still Thursday right? I posted my TMI story pretty late because I just got a new song finished and as a "struggling" artist whose genre isn't so familiar where she lives ( SERIOUSLY! Hip-hop is crawling here, it's either rock, pop or hardcore dangdut where yours truly live! ), I need to do a bit self whoring around the internet for a bit.

Oh, you wanna hear the song? Here it is :



It's the song I told you about last Monday. Yes, the one about Indonesian Youth Pledge Day for Prambors radio campaign, which you can download for free here, by the way. The one that requires me to do at least a verse and a chorus in my mother language, which is MUCH harder than English. The one that got me googling and browsing internet for national history The one that made me sweating and almost peed myself during the lyrics writing and recording.

Speaking of peeing self...

You know I totally did it during one of the biggest gigs I've had a few years ago?

Back then I was a little bundle of nerves. I'm still nervous from time to time now but around 4 or 5 years ago, I totally shook and had ridiculous stage frights. One day, I was booked to perform for a TV 7 off-air event called Automotive Night Race Pre-Party and man it's a BIG DEAL. Cameras rolling everywhere, reporters, racers, and people were basically flooding the place. Lloyd Popp wasn't my backing rapper that time and I had two guys who usually performed with me, Ade and Dennis.

We were told to arrive at 6 PM and perform around 7 but we weren't called until almost 11 pm. I couldn't handle the nervousness at all. Our pictures were snapped as reporters tried to interview us, I stammered a lot. My hands were sweating, my cheeks were burning and I kept sitting down and standing up to walk around a bit. When I did it for almost a zillion times, Dennis's voice startled me, "Ndee, are you getting your lady visit?"

So of course I was like, "No, I finished like a few days ago. What's up?"

Then he said, matter of factly, "No, it's just your jeans are wet on the...behind.."

I instantly turned around and touched it and found out it's NOT a period. No, not lady visit at all. My stupid stage fright simply tried to push my buttons even more. However, I looked at the guys and was like, "Um, I think it's not really finished then...Bad lady trouble!"

WHAT ? I wasn't about to admit I leaked myself to people who worked with me!!! Although, you know, I just did now.

The guys were sweet though, one of them gave me their jacket to cover my butt. I made a trip to little girl's room to put it on and took of my wet pants ( 2nd TMI! ) since my shirt's actually down to my thighs. It looked like I wore a very mini dress with long jacket and booties. When people met me again outside, they actually thought I just changed into my stage outfit and freaking complimented me. I bit my tongue to not tell them it's my after-pee outfits, entered the stage to spotlights and cheering crowds...sans pants.

For more TMI stories, check out Lilu's blog.






ps. I'm happy to inform you this never happened again, but then I never feel that nervous now.
pss. I blame it on the a-a-a-a-alcohol.

The Most Retarded Thing I've Heard Today...

If you're an Indonesian who keeps up with the current news, then you'll know one of the hottest yet insignificant things that people talk about today is the arrival cancellation of the popular Japanese - Canadian porn star, Maria Ozawa, to Jakarta.

If you're a non-Indonesian, then you can read the full article about it here and here.

The sexy starlet was apparently scheduled to shoot a local movie called Kidnapping Miyabi, a comedy by Maxima Pictures about college students planning to kidnap the actress while she happens to be vacationing in the city. All the contracts have been finalized and pirated DVD vendors have racked a lot of cash since the sale of her porn movies keep increasing day by day.

But of course, Indonesia despite the modern times can still be friggin traditional and close minded, seeing how a lot of people decided to be idiots and made too much of a big deal out of this. Even though the production house had clarified that there'd be no sex scenes AT ALL in the movie, not even close. The ministry of culture and tourism has formally asked Maxima Pictures to pull the plug on the project for the fear of public controversies and disturbances.

The award for biggest idiot of all will surely fall to the hands of Islamic Defenders Front, a hard-line Islamic group in Indonesia well known for their violent acts toward everything that according to them, is against Islamic teachings. On 2006, they attacked Playboy Indonesia's office and for the following years there are calls by Indonesians, even from moderate Muslims like me, for the regulation of the group. We want them banned.

So yeah these dudes did a lot of demonstration about it these days, calling her immoral devil who would destroy the entire nation and they even threatened the government that they would rebel out to create disturbances and kidnappings if the porn star even step her feet in the country. They stationed their members to do sweepings in our international airport too.

They also had supports from apparently, many female organizations who thought that her arrival, with her porn star label, would degrade women. Then they preached for hours on TV about women should appreciate their bodies and stuff, and they should not be used for entertainment purpose and shit.

I have a few opinions regarding this :

• There's no way she gonna destroy an entire nation unless she brings the whole Japanese armies and their high tech weapons to attack all of us
• There's no law against porn stars visiting Indonesia, and we should never have one
  
• Her purpose of coming here is not to do porn, and I doubt the first thing she'd do here is asking the locals to put it in her butt ( Sorry! )
  
• With or without her here, many people will still watch porn anyway. In fact, I can guarantee some of the protesters have actually watched and liked her movies. Hypocrites, yes we got them!
• People in general and women in particular are responsible for their own decisions and their images. We should not blame it on porn stars or medias. We're not gonna be degraded if we don't let ourselves be degraded. You know what I'm saying?
  
• People should mind their own damn business and stop with the holier-than-thou attitude! Just because we don't let ourselves being tag teamed by men, women, robots and animals, it doesn't mean that we're a better human being.
  

I was talking about it with my friend Nadya in the class today and she's pretty bummed about the whole thing. This conversation happened :

Me : I never know you're a fan. Or you watch porn, by the way.

Nadya : NOT OFTEN. And I'm not a fan, I just have a question ready for her!

Me : What would that be?

Nadya : "Miss, How do you look like you enjoy giving blow jobs so much?"

Me : *speechless*

Nadya : What? It's not always nice you know, and it can be smelly and hairy and everything...

Oh look at that, TMI Wednesday!

But seriously, what do you think about the whole thing? Unnecessary or understandable?

I can has back massage?

Seriously, as a caffeine hopping energizer bunny, it usually takes a lot to get me super tired. I'm used to hectic schedules and doing a lot of things at once, so I've never really thought I'm capable of feeling really drained and uninspired to do anything anymore. I am now.

Don't get me wrong, my insomnia still makes me sleep-deprived every night, but I found that I can randomly pass out at unpredictable times now. I may not mind so much if it happens in class during boring lectures, but around 8 pm in the evening shortly after I arrive home when I still have projects, assignments, and music work to do? Not cool, not cool at all.

I'm feeling like either sleeping or downing a couple glasses of wine right now, but here are a few small updates :

• I need to finish a song for a local radio as a part of their program to introduce young indie artists in late October. Sounds good? There's a catch though : there has to be Indonesian words in the verses and the chorus. One sad fact you should know about me, I can't write lyrics in Indonesian. It's my first language, sure, but I can't. It's different between talking in Indonesian and writing lyrics in it. I guess because all of us talk with informal words. The formal language itself is really old school and pretty, I find it hard to apply them in lyrics or rhyme them. The thing is, if you don't use Indonesian correctly, your words can sound really tacky, cheesy and mundane. Too many Indonesian artists make these mistakes. I tried and finished a verse last night though, using DICTIONARY to help. WTF, right? Hope it doesn't sound so bad.
  

• My Soul Nation gig is approaching faster than I've thought. Less than 3 weeks from now! I have to finish 3 more new songs for the gig and while the beats are ready, completing all of them isn't really easy to do. I'm one of those artists / song writers who can only write lyrics best when feeling inspired. With all these pressures, I really am not. I sleep even less because all I think about is writing verses, trying to find the perfect flows and rhymes. I scribble words in classes and some friends started to think I'm some kind of cool, wounded, tortured artist. Wounded and tortured alright, my head's never buzzed so intensely. I need to get them recorded, at least the ad libs and the choruses, so we can start making minus one.

• On positive note, the gig concept is done. Me and Lloyd were brainstorming for hours in his studio earlier today. We came up with a few gimmicks for the show, sadly none of them involves break dancing clowns or chimpanzees in Brazilian bikinis because the stage we'll perform at isn't so big. There will be 2 or 3 guest artists collaborating with us and our DJ, and a total of 18 songs to perform including intro and remixes. Crazy! I hope we'll all be in our prime condition on the gig, we can't afford being sick, tired, or making mistakes. AT ALL.
  

• I have a lot of assignments, school projects, presentation, and mid terms coming in the same week as the big gig. YUCK! Let's also remember that I'm in the process of writing a thesis and I'm totally distracted with all the stuff I have in my plate. It wont be this hard if my thesis advisors are actually in school, where they should always be found at least during normal school hours. Something is wrong when you look for your professors almost everyday around 10 to 3 pm and they're barely there. It's frustating!
  

• D'Makaveli got a job to throw an exclusive Halloween party this year! YAY! What a fantastic opportunity for us. The whole event will be a bit fancier and more private than usual, at Buddha Bar Jakarta on October 30th. Same day with Soul Nation? I know. We're trying to discuss the possibilities of moving the gig around the afternoon or the next day. I hope everything is taken care of! Now if I just miraculously find a perfect long cape or something so I can dress as Damon Salvatore's Bride.
  
  
  OHAI, MR. VAMPIRE!
  
  HAI AGAIN!
  
  *Fans self*
  
  Okay now, this is just rude!
  

And I'm obviously distracted. Ahem. So yeah, I got the boots and bustier ready to pull serious Vamp Vixen look this Halloween.

Have a great week, my dears!

Sunday Lovelist #24

Happy Sunday, my dearies! I'm currently in a break from napping on the couch ( hahaha ) to make this love list. I really need to start writing things down, the whole my-life-moves-so-fast thing makes me forget a lot of details about my days from time to time. Here are what I remember loving from the past week, though :

1. Planning my Soul Nation gig
I blogged all about it last Monday when their program director called me himself to ask me to perform on this huge event for a full hour set. I'm so happy and also very nervous since i haven't performed this long for something this big. I've been focusing bigger part of my brain to plan my show : what songs to perform, which artists I wanna ask to perform with me, what new songs I should create for this, what should I wear and do I have to change clothes, and the most important thing...the concept / the gimmick. Sure, it's all about talent but people will be bored seeing an hour of pure rapping on stage without something really attention grabbing. Should I hire clowns who can break dance and krump dancing? My head will explode.

2. New song, new collaboration
For my gig this week, I had to make a completely new song with this talented up-and-coming R&B singer in town, Hariman Halim. At first I was really nervous because we're totally new at working with each other, although I shared a studio time with him once. But the feeling's gone as soon as I heard what he did with my new beat. Guys, his voice...it's a cross between Ryan Leslie's and Bobby Valentino's. I literally shivered. My trouble on finding the perfect beat for us the previous week totally worth it. I'm gonna upload it here when it's done, hope you'll like it.

3. Finding a treasure in the form of killer pair of buckle boots
Not kidding. See, I was brave enough to clean and arrange my closets a few days ago. To say it's a mess is an understatement since I was sure I would be hyperventilated, die and not be found with all the junks covering the whole surfaces. When I was sorting through my shoes, I found a huge box with Chloe logo in the corner and when I opened it, guess what I saw?I didn't even remember when I bought it. When I asked my dad, he simply asked whether I have ordered things online in the past couple of months. When I said yes, he said this, "You don't remember buying, but I remember paying." OUCH. Anyhoo, I guess it means I don't have to shop for black buckle boots this fall. Score.

4. Completing assignments & acing a mid test
I was really swamped with school work and a mid test this week. Apparently law school wont care that you have a life and music career and keep throwing stink bombs like this at you. My week's filled with making a new song, picking new beats, working on non stop assignments and reading thick books. Sometimes all at the same time. It's a miracle how I survived, no?

5. My new hairstylist
There are three salons in the city that I go to the most. I'll divide it like this :

• A really good but expensive one to get a haircut, highlights, make up or do something noticeable with my hair if I go to important events.
• A body treatment and waxing salon that I go like every two weeks, and
  
• A moderately priced but good salon to have a creambath or other hair treatments, also to get your hair blown and styled whenever you need, like once or twice a week. This is a salon I usually have to go most often when I want a great hair for the weekend or something. It doesn't have to be expensive, you just need to know the good stylists there that can transform your looks.

So my regular hairstylist in the third salon is on pregnancy leaf at the moment, making me confused and drift to one salon to another these days. Last weekend, however, I went back to the salon and randomly picked a hairstylist. At first I was skeptic but in the end he made my hair SO pretty. This made me sound like a total vain girly girl but I don't care, I'll be seeing him again soon.

6. Gushy Playlist

It's a bit embarrassing to admit but there's nothing I like more these days to spend my late evenings rather than listening to romantic songs that can make some people vomit on normal days. Especially with the rain falling down and the only lights in my room are from my bedside lamps and laptop screen. Ahem. Goodbye, angry hip-hop. Hello, Robin Thicke, Jamie Foxx, Alicia Keys, Keri Hilson, and the likes. Oh, you want an example?

I don't know about you but it's getting hot in here! Listen, listen!

7. Lots of shopping

It started when I needed a new dress for my last gig. I found a gorgeous fuchsia halter cocktail dress, which I ended up getting, when I noticed there's a huge sale going on in almost every mall I know. I told my mom this and she asked me to go with her on Saturday. Score. I got a new purse, a pair of platform pumps, and a new necklace. Yay!

8. Entourage Season 6
So I finally got the whole season on DVD the other day, a bit late if you ask me. But I prefer watching every episode all at once and not waiting week per week, I'm impatient like that. It's worth it though because it's even better than I've expected. The whole thing is a bit more mature than the previous seasons. Drama and Turtle showed everyone that they're not a complete loser and it's nice to see Lloyd got more role. He's one of my favorite characters, beside Ari Gold. Are you a fan of Entourage? What do you think about this last season?


9. MY FRIDAY NIGHT GIG!!!!
Yes, the super awesome event organizer that I work in, D'Makaveli, was throwing our monthly Coast to Coast event in Blowfish and I, as usual, performed. I mentioned before that I was on stage with Hariman Halim for the first time and we delivered. He really sounded so good and confident. It was nerve wrecking at first. We had crazy sound checks, glitches in sound systems and microphones. I was too nervous and drinking too many vodka sprite, pretty much tipsy before midnight. I did my job right though, having fun while I was doing so. Dancing, talking to people, witnessing cat fights between group of girls on the dance floor, and taking a lot of pictures. Here are some of them :

Our pre-gig dinner at Poste

How's everyone's weekend? Did you guys have a much needed rest?

Fall 2009 Must-Haves I Love

To those who haven't known yet ( although I've mentioned it like, 1000 times ), my favorite season is fall. Although since I live in Jakarta, we call it RAINY season. Yes, it has officially started and I can't be happier that it's predicted to last until next March or April at least. When snow starts to appear in your areas, my European and American bloggy friends, we will still have low 70 degrees weather over here with lots of rain and less sun. MY kind of climate.

Can you believe it still will make some people over here bundle up in warmer clothing though? Either we really can't stand cold or we just wanna jump into the whole fall fashion bandwagon.

"I'll be feeling hot and sweating a little but at least I'll look stylish!" -> Asian people approved.*

Kidding.

Anyhoo, I'm sure a lot of you ladies have pretty much been prepped up on what to wear this season from magazines, websites, and even twitter. Some of the trends pretty much have been repeated from last seasons and some others are pretty new. There are a few I don't really feel excited about : plaids, double denim, ripped tights / jeans, boyfriend jeans, and see-through clothing? Nu-uh, go away! But here are a bunch of fall 2009 items that I LOVE :

Oversized necklaces

Already popular for past few seasons but they're still around and many designers still show them off in the runway. I love how it spices up your look instantly, even if you just wear a simple white shirt and skinny jeans.

Everything leather

Leather jacket has been a wardrobe staple for everyone I know. Leather trend is no longer new but it expands with people wearing leather shorts, leather pants, leather skirt, leather dresses, leather belts, etc. So far I still stick to the jackets, most of the times anyway.

Boots

Especially thigh high boots. The higher, the better. I think they look great with chunky sweater and mini shirt dresses.

Studded, metallic, sequin, and sparkly everything

Apparently it's all about looking like a diva this season. I've seen many girls carrying studded bags or wearing studded ankle boots since a few months ago, now apparently we can throw metallic or sequin dresses and tops to the equation too. A few designers even said their sparkly designs can be used during the day. Ooh, shiny!

Leggings

Champion, still. I can hear the haters weep. What can I say, dude? They're comfortable. Love how the designs are more varied and edgier now with crazy prints, zipper, etc.

Belted Trench / Coats

Now I can hear myself weep because there's no reason at all for me to wear it if I'm here. It's NEVER that cold in Jakarta. Unless I go to mountain towns nearby. Belted trench give people sophisticated, chic look without much efforts.

Draped, Ruffled, and One-Shoulder Dresses

These have been around for pretty long as well but each has its own strong points to stay. Draped dresses give women that regal and classy vibe while at the same time create camouflage with the bodies, making people slimmer. Ruffled and One-Shoulder dresses are pretty and appropriate for almost every evening occasion from dinner to attending wedding and parties.

Capes

I love how sophisticated capes look on a woman's body. Not many girls here are into it but I do and I like it in all forms, whether it's a cropped mini one or a full long one. The latter one somehow makes me feel like a sexy villain in a superhero movie. Nerdy much?

Platform Shoes

...with the highest heels possible to show off the legs. I love the ones with pretty extreme fronts.

Animal Prints

Leopard, Zebra...I love it, whether it's on the shoes, coats, bags, or even jewelries like the ones from Betsey Johnson. Animal prints make anyone look fierce, as long as you don't wear it all at once.

Oh, and last but not least...

SHARP SHOULDERS!

At first I thought I would hate it, but I didn't. They look so fierce. I end up looking at mine and my mom's closets for old blazers and put shoulder pads back to some of my current ones. Bold shoulders are a 1980's cliche and somehow made it back to represent Fall 2009's key silhouette gracefully.

What's your favorite fall 2009 items?*

*I ask this to you manly men too. Don't tell me boys prancing around in a trench and nothing else only exist in TV? It's like telling kids that Santa doesn't exist!